They say that holding onto anger from a fight is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. I think that's bullshit. There's nothing wrong with feeling completely frustrated and exasperated, even if it takes a few days or weeks to feel better. People love to preach the benefits of self-love and practicing peace of mind but often fail to acknowledge that being present with your feelings, no matter how draining, actually IS a form of self-love. I'd rather be angry at someone and spend my days feeling bitter about a situation than just pushing my feelings away to the side like a robot with no human emotion. They also say that you need to have the bad days to appreciate the good ones... and boy are "they" right.
Every argument that occurs between two people always comes to the same standstill point - you take the hurtful words that have been hurtled your way and you find yourself thinking: who am I talking to right now? Why does this person make me so angry? Are things ever going to be the same? Where's the love that I have for them? These painful thoughts can spin around your head for ages, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Most people don't realize it, but it's a privilege to be able to spend some time on your own to search for these answers. Life is to short to avoid the rawest moments and learning lessons that make us who we are.
I've always personally struggled with finding the separation between words and actions. It's always been said that actions speak louder, but what do you do when the words have cut you so deep? Does that not feel like an action? How do you move on from words that are so foul, you feel like your soul has been ripped out of your body? Is that also not an action? Forgiveness is a honestly tricky thing. It alludes a false sense of embalmment at the time, but the mind and heart can still remain broken. You can't rush it or else you risk facing a much larger issue in the long run as you realize that you still aren't over the pain and hurt that someone has made you feel.
I think it's important to feel your pain, and to feel it very deeply. No one should rush you into moving things along at a quicker pace for the sake of a relationship or friendship. Moving on from an issue at a rushed pace only forces someone to present a false version of themselves until their spirits have truly been lifted from a state of despair. Pretending to be happy only works for so long before you begin to use it as another excuse to blame yourself for neglecting your true feelings.
Feelings of anger and forgiveness take time to endure, but count yourself lucky if you have a loved one or two that help you through your weakest moments and pick you up when you need it the most... for they are the same ones that will be beside you when you are at your highest.
F.S x
"If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow."
- Chinese Proverb